Valleyschwag has jumped the shark

Ugh. I just got my Valleyschwag #3 package.

valleyschwag package

Once again, it’s a disappointment. Sure, I got a shirt, a tape measurer, and a keychain. And there were some assorted stickers, but ugh. It didn’t even come with the burlap container. Nope, a brown paper sack of pseudo-crapness. Pseudo… hell, this is some genuine crapness.

Why do I feel like the Kathy Griffin of silicon valley? I can’t even buy my way into a decent shwag-cistence. Where’s that cancel button before the third strike?


  1. Not only did I get Yahoo Schwag, but the FIFA sticker arrived after the World Cup finale. I’m surprised there wasn’t a Tech Monkey somewhere in the package.

  2. Hi Ted.

    Sorry to hear that you’re unhappy with your schwag. We worked hard to gather a good variety of stuff, and we’re pretty sure you’d pay more that $10 shipping if you bought this stuff in a store, but if you’re don’t dig the stuff the best we can do is offer a refund. :(

    It is pretty funny that we sent yahoo schwag to a current yahoo. Yahoo is dripping with schwag, and part of the inspiration for the service was the boxes of stuff I had when I left. As the biggest website they’re also one of the biggest promoters, and we’ll have more stuff from them in future packages. Fair warning.

    If you do decide to stick with us for another month please drop us an email at support@ and we’ll try to get some Google schwag in there to balance things out.


  3. Hey Jonathan

    No refund necessary. I joined Valleyschwag to become part of the hip crowd but feel like the hipper than thyself got the hipper packages. It’s a crapshoot, you guys did your best.

    I think I need to get outside and actually meet new people and do this the organic way. Does anyone know of a startup party? Anyone? …Hello?

  4. We’ll see you at the Hoedown this friday, right? If you’re social/pleasant in person I’d be happy to point you toward some cool startup parties and introduce you to some of the best Yahoos.

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