Nostalgia sucks. It sucks you into a steaming pot of “oh my god I remember that site…”. Here are some of the web pages that opened my eyes to the potential of this internet thingy.
I am better than your kids
Possibly the first and best troll on the internet. No kid’s artwork is safe from Maddox’s curatorial tongue. The page also has an appropriate URL: TheBestPageInTheUniverse.Net
I hate clowns
One of my first emails addresses was Bubba@iHateClowns.com. I had the tshirt and sticker to match. I still hate clowns.
Ah, there’s nothing like the smell of a doodie cartoon in the morning. It smells like… Internet Gold. Doodie delivered a fresh poop-toon every morning.
Now they’ve expanded to non-poop cartoons.
The Steakhouse Incident
Apparently, early internet pages were filled with potty humor. The steakhouse incident is the finest example of splattering the walls.
Paris Street View
Google made street view maps famous, but Pages Jaune provided street view photos of all Paris addresses way back in the early 2000s. You can still catch a glimpse of the images in the Immersive view.
My first web site
I built my first web site in 1997 and it was a real beauty. Enjoy the awkwardness of By Business Page Maker-built web design: Ted Drake.
Ah foodies and their search for the next big taste. The pursuit leads one to new locations, tastes, and aftertastes. The following stories are so tasty!
In 1979, Les Blank took a detour to film German filmmaker Werner Herzog honoring a vow he made to Errol Morris that he (Herzog) would eat his shoe if Morris ever actually made one of his films he was forever talking about. Stung to action, Morris directed Gates of Heaven and Herzog, true to his word, returned to Berkeley to consume one of his desert boots at the UC Theater. Blank’s film documents Herzog’s strongly expressed belief that people must have the gutts to attempt what they dream of.
Fluf, a band from San Diego in the mid 1990’s, was notorious for never appearing in their press photos. The release of a new album or photo opportunity was always a joy for their fans.
Facebook, a web site from Mountain view that started in the mid 2000’s, required users to upload a photograph of themselves for their profile. The release of my new profile photo is reason for my adoring fans to celebrate.
Here are some of my most glamorous mug shots.
I have many jobs, but money isn’t the only salary. Sometimes I work to torment my friends and family. It’s the
Scorpio in me.
Take Heidi for example. She’s afraid of insects. Not in the “I don’t like bugs, icky!” mode. She’s bat-shit crazy about bugs and has been known to freak out when a bug lands on her windshield wiper while driving down the road. The thought of a spider crawling up her leg would motivate her to get a chainsaw and hack her leg to pieces.
Naturally, one of my jobs is to deliver a steady stream of insects to Heidi’s Facebook, SMS, and emails. Here are some recent additions.
Attack of the White Tail Spider
A kid with a serious obsession with pouring spiders on his body
Trees covered with thousands of spiders
Seemingly innocent hair ball erupts into thousands of fleeing spiders
The mother of all spiders is gonna get you!