All good things must come to end, or so they say. I’m in the airport now and waiting for the big birdie to arrive and take me to San Francisco. I walked around the city today remembering some of the more choice experiences in Toronto.
There’s a gay bar in the village, I think it is called Bubble’s Show or something equally glamorous. This is the hub of drag queens in the city. They hover around this place like moths on a stop light. I never went inside the bar as it was much more enjoyable from a distance.
The bar has a small stage visible from the street and random “shows” by the ladies for the clientÃ¨le. I swear I saw Celine Dion doing a pole dance while I was eating some spicy Indian food across the street.
Later, I sat next door in a coffee shop drinking some mint tea to cool down my tastebuds from the aforementioned Indian food. Abba’s “Dancing Queen” began pulsating from the bar and I could only imagine a drag queen in white taffeta spinning around like a whirling dirvish. My vision was shattered as two bitchy queens and a fag hag walked by, one of them joked “Dancing Queen?!?!? More like Semi-Vegetative Queen.”
Veggie hot dogs and hockey pucks
I walked down to the big CN Tower, the tallest man made structure for the rest of the month. I’m just too cheap to spend 30 bucks on an elevator trip, so I passed up the opportunity to see the sights from the current tallest tower.
I did take a detour and walked through an enormous Blue Jays crowd. It’s always a bit more fun to walk against the flow than with it. I hadn’t had anything to eat and gasp, no coffee either. It seemed like everyone I walked past was eating a freshly grilled hot dog smothered with goodies or just finished one. The corners of their mouths were either full, yellow, or had green relish specks.
Hot dogs were the only thing I missed about eating meat. So, imagine my surprise when I found out these roadside hotdog joints sold veggie dogs! MMMMM….. Veggie dog with mustard, ketchup, relish, sourkraut, and more for breakfast. Move over wheaties, I’ve found a new champion.
I then visited the Hockey Hall of Fame. Yes, that was me with the clueless look in the shrine of Gretzky. I ended up watching the people more than the exhibits as their eyes lit up when they came across someones old jockstrap covering a hockey puck in a glass case.
They had this great game where you walk into a small arena and act like a goalie. There’s a huge screen in front with hockey players coming at you. Eventually someone on the screen smacks the puck and one of the little round fuckers comes flying out of the wall and hits you in the chest! That was worth the price of admission!
A missed bargain
While walking around town, I stopped into a delightful little clothes shop. Now, I’m cheap. I mean really cheap. It’s my Mom’s fault. She always taught us that the best clothes were the ones in the back of the store under the clearance rack.
Well, I found a treasure trove in the back of one store; a wonderful pair of leopard-print satin underwear for only $9.97. What a bargain … and oh so sexy in a Jackie Stallone kind of way. For even less, I could have gotten a pair of pink satin skivvies that consisted of a pouch hanging from an elastic band. Oh so practical!
Luckily, my mom also told us to avoid leopard prints and satin pouch panties.
Oh, I also played the Canuck Lotto and won 10 bucks (approx. $9.67 US) I am rich beyond belief.