Critical reading material

Five foods that cause anal leakage! How could we possibly live without this information?

This reminds me of the fat blocking diet pill that potentially caused explosive diarrhea. I worked great for about a week. I ate sensibly until I couldn’t live without a burrito. That’s when I realized it didn’t have the side effect on me. Instantly it became a morning-after drug. I ate my typical mexican food and popped a pill. Eventually I ran out and didn’t bother buying any more.

My friend Heather the Hussy said it caused here to leave salad dressing in the toilet. A little oil and vinegar anyone?