Ted Drake's sketchbook
It’s no secret I am a huge fan of Project Runway. I just can’t live a week without being reminded to “carry on.” i’ve even reached the uber-fan-freak level by sending an email to Santino asking about one of his t-shirts he wore on the show (he never responded… the bastard!) That sounds even worse than I thought. I need some therapy.
So, imagine my surprise when I discovered a Project Runway out-take that had escaped my ever-vigilant Project Runway eyes: The Lost Episode of Project Runway
I try, I really do. I signed up for valleyshwag to buy the cool kids leftover t-shirts. I go to the venture capital meet and greets. I even read valleywag to hear about the demise of my uber-boss Lloyd. But something happened this week that shook me to the core.
I missed the biggest geek smackdown of the year. There’s this vlogging site called Rocketboom. Naturally they made no money, but the two people almost shared the non-profits equally. The host, Amanda, decided she needed to work out of Los Angeles instead of the dark and miserable east coast and wanted the company to set her up with a studio and everything else needed to produce their top quality shows. The boss guy couldn’t figure out how they would pay for such a move with no income and said “nope, go for it on your own, but no can do from me”.
So Amanda goes online and creates a new site and video saying she was dissed and dismissed. The boss guy retorts. She then does the Star Jones of the internet and publishes a line by line response of his response to her… response… This is getting a bit confusing already.
So now the other cool, pretty people who have their act together in the valley are responding in a sophisticated manner. They are having coffee with their Venture Capital friends, setting up their own sites with Ruby on Rails to defend Amanda or boss guy, and most importantly… trying to fill her shoes.
All of this comes back to me.
I had no idea this rocketboom even existed. It’s like not realizing the Ricki Lake is off the air. Or that Sally Jessy Raphael still wears horribly ugly glasses and the worst hair dye in the country. I just don’t know if I’m going to make it in the silicon valley if I can’t get into the gossip underground.
I had such well intentioned plans for the fourth of July. I was going to ride my bike, possibly learn how to fly a plane, join the dragon boat group on the bay, drive up to the city for some Chinese food, and finally come home and bake a nice tuna souffle for the cat. But all of those plans have been put on hold.
The Bravo network will be broadcasting a marathon of last year’s Project Runway! Sorry Mr. Flight Instructor. No can do. I have to stay at home and watch Santino destroy another contestant. I need to watch whats her face trash the sewing machine and for Heidi’s latest preganancy gown.
So, if you need me, I’ll be at La Petite Maison Bleue with the cat and a bowl full of chips watching Project Runway one more time. Dammit.
I watched almost the entire marathon today. I missed the first episode and the reunion episode. The fourth of july is over already and I spent it glued to the television like one of Santino’s jump suit sleeves. I’m such a loser.
I don’t watch television, no I’m above television. Well, ok I do watch a wee bit. I’ve got my little addiction to bad reality shows like Project Runway, Top Chef, and the Jerry Springer show. But I’m superior, I don’t fall for American Idol madness, the sunday football game, and the latest episode of Lost. No, I watch Lost on DVD like any civilized human being.
Which brings me to the flashback I had this morning when viewing a sneak preview of the Dynasty Reunion. Crytstal… Crystal…. Crystal… What happened to you? Alexis looks fabu, but Crystal looks like a drag queen impersonating Wynonna Judd impersonating Crystal. Gone is that sweet smile, replaced by a botox mask that makes Alexis look like she’s never seen a plastic surgeon in her life. And that dress…. Girlfriend… Who chose that thing?