Category: tacky

Blast from the Past

Nostalgia sucks. It sucks you into a steaming pot of “oh my god I remember that site…”. Here are some of the web pages that opened my eyes to the potential of this internet thingy.

I am better than your kids

ugly drawing of a face by a kidPossibly the first and best troll on the internet. No kid’s artwork is safe from Maddox’s curatorial tongue. The page also has an appropriate URL: TheBestPageInTheUniverse.Net

I hate clowns

One of my first emails addresses was Bubba@iHateClowns.com. I had the tshirt and sticker to match. I still hate clowns.

Doodie

Ah, there’s nothing like the smell of a doodie cartoon in the morning. It smells like… Internet Gold. Doodie delivered a fresh poop-toon every morning.
drawing of man on toilet writing you're stupid on the bathroom stall in 1993. The same guy doing the same on a forum in 2013 Now they’ve expanded to non-poop cartoons.

The Steakhouse Incident

Apparently, early internet pages were filled with potty humor. The steakhouse incident is the finest example of splattering the walls.

Paris Street View

Google made street view maps famous, but Pages Jaune provided street view photos of all Paris addresses way back in the early 2000s. You can still catch a glimpse of the images in the Immersive view.

My first web site

I built my first web site in 1997 and it was a real beauty. Enjoy the awkwardness of By Business Page Maker-built web design: Ted Drake.

Did you hear about the hippo that ate the dwarf

This is almost too funny to be true. So let’s just imagine that it is.

hippo eats a dwarf
Here’s the story in text:

Hippo Eats Dwarf

BANGKOK: A hippopotamus swallowed a circus dwarf in a “freak accident” in northern Thailand, according to a columnist in the Pattaya Mail.

The Grapevine column reported: “A circus dwarf, nicknamed Od, died recently when he bounded sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus waiting to appear in the next act.

“Vets said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex which caused her to swallow. More than 1000 spectators continued to applaud wildly until they realised there had been a tragic mistake.”

Fun for the entire family – Bear Escape

I have strange dreams. I have the type that leave me chuckling when I wake up. This morning was a doozy.
Iceland 2009
Imagine this new family game: Bear Escape. I had a dream of the standard nuclear family gathered around the family room as grandma was on her back and an angry plastic bear hunkered over her, ready to dig in for a certainly gruesome death.

The dad said “Ok Grandma, how are you going to escape this angry, man-eating bear?”

Granny replied “I’ll try carving him!”.

At that point the little rugrat with blonde ponytails ran to the kitchen and returned with one of those long forks and a carving knife. Granny gracefully, as gracefully an 80 year-old lady on her back with a german shephard-sized plastic bear on chest, started to carve the bear’s arm like a Thanksgiving turkey.

I woke up at that point. It’s a shame, I would have loved to see how this game progresses. I can see this sold at Toys-R-Us next to “Squeal like a Pig” and “Guard the still” family action games.

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