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I went to watch the fireworks from the 8th floor of the Yahoo! towers tonight. Mind you, it was certainly a pleasant, air-conditioned, quiet climate to observe the fireworks exploding in the sky. A very pleasant, canned, quiet, boring place to watch them.

I missed the oohs, the ahhhs, the drunk women with tube-tops dancing on their old-man’s pickup as 70′s southern rawk blasted
out of blown speakers. I missed the sound of beer bottles hitting the ground as someone tripped over love-sick teenagers making out on a blanket in the parking lot. I miss the sound of a mother explaining the situation to scared rugrats as the dad watched drunk women in tube tops listening to southern rawk.

I think, most of all, I missed the sounds. The bad music, the hisses, the oohs, the ahhs, and the drunk women wearing tube tops while dancing on their old-man’s pickup. Instead, I got air-conditioning hum, the sound of shockwaves bouncing off the neighboring tower, and my co-workers discussing the fireworks as they crunched numbers on how much bigger the explosions would be if Google’s stock was higher.

So, in the hope of encouraging better fireworks for all, I am suggesting a modest soundtrack for your next fireworks presentation. For best effect, play all of the songs at once from several pickups and get your old ladies to dance on the hoods while wearing tube-tops.

• Nesbitt’s Lime Soda Song by Negativland (.mp3)
• Redneck Sex by Gibby Haynes (.mp3)
• Le chant du priate by Edith Piaf (.mp3)
• medication by Alice Donut (.mp3)
• c-lord by Chune (.mp3)

I had such well intentioned plans for the fourth of July. I was going to ride my bike, possibly learn how to fly a plane, join the dragon boat group on the bay, drive up to the city for some Chinese food, and finally come home and bake a nice tuna souffle for the cat. But all of those plans have been put on hold.

The Bravo network will be broadcasting a marathon of last year’s Project Runway! Sorry Mr. Flight Instructor. No can do. I have to stay at home and watch Santino destroy another contestant. I need to watch whats her face trash the sewing machine and for Heidi’s latest preganancy gown.

So, if you need me, I’ll be at La Petite Maison Bleue with the cat and a bowl full of chips watching Project Runway one more time. Dammit.

Recap

I watched almost the entire marathon today. I missed the first episode and the reunion episode. The fourth of july is over already and I spent it glued to the television like one of Santino’s jump suit sleeves. I’m such a loser.